lastnite: a dream journal

Schmoozin' with Joan Rivers

I was being fitted for a beaded silk dress.

An unmarried Hispanic couple came into my office. The female had taken classes before, but the male had never enrolled. He was incredibly frustrating: he kept changing how he spelled his last name. He took two Sprites from my office and opened them both for himself. I could not find the official membership form and he mocked me. To get away from him, I went to some high-dollar Neiman Marcus-type store that was located in the gallery. A woman I faintly recognized as "Board material" was selling diamond rings. She waved to me and I smiled. I found my mom somewhere and she gave me a pastel pink sweater to wear over what I was wearing: a long blue shirt, a pair of paints, and a skirt. I was heavily layered. I left then and ran into Joan Rivers and a gaggle of her types. They complimented me on my unique outfit and I became this instant fake social butterfly. I complimented Joan on her solid gold botanical-themed tiara that looked like it was on upside down. She hugged me and I said, "You're so kind to me." She then said she'd be talking to the President of the Board to see if we could "speed things up." I don't really know what things she was talking about, but I knew it was going to be the best for me.

I went back into my office and it was way too bright. Howard came into my office and, in an attempt to fake eye contact, I kept my eyes shut and looked up at him. I explained that I didn't have to see to work. He grabbed a pair of scissors and pretended to cut a massive potholder I had weaved in sixth grade. I saw him through squinted eyes and stopped him, knowing that he was just testing me. The potholder was navy and orange, with a quasi-floral pattern tying the two colors together. The odd part was the way it seemed to grow: the potholder eventually became a full tablecloth size and I told Howard it was for "big dishes" in a little kid's voice.