I was flipping through a novelties catalog when I saw a picture of a glow-in-the-dark skull. I, of course, wanted to buy it. Mom found me staring at it and asked me, “How comfortable are you with the French?” I told I felt okay, I suppose. Then she told me I should wear my t-shirt OVER my sweater instead of under. I told her I would do no such thing, that it was silly and illogical. Mom then accused me of having a prejudice against the French.

I also had some weird answering machine.