I was working on the twentieth floor of some highrise. Barbara A. showed up for work wearing pastel pink pajamas with footies and bunny ears. I just gawked at her for a while, then ran and told the boss. The boss had short brown hair and was in his early thirties/late twenties. He reminds me of someone, but I think it’s like Andrew Sullivan or a British journalist. Anyway, he said that she could wear footie pajamas; besides, she had another two minutes before she clocked in, and there was a possibility she would change. I told him change was impossible. He said it sounded like I had something I should tell him, and so I closed the door, fell at his feet (like I often sit on the floor in Jake’s office), and told him the whole story of why Barbara A. pissed me off so badly last week. When I was done, he didn’t say anything, and just said, “Okay.” I was pretty unsatisified with that, but knew it would be the only response I would get. So I looked out the window for a while and then left. Donna from That ’70s Show walked by and shrugged her shoulders; I guess she worked with me too.

I got about twelve hours of sleep lastnite, but none of them were very happy hours. I really am not happy with the new medication.

Erika took me to a mall, then we ran into Priya. Then we all went to a bar and proceeded to get into a drinking game. I wasn’t looking forward to it because I knew I had to win. I have a very strong competitive streak with Priya and I was convinced I would not fail. The problem was that I was already nausated and hadn’t even entered a smoky atmosphere yet. Luckily, somehow we left after Priya got drunk, but before my turn. (This is most likely the result of me watching MSNBC’s “Spring Break: Parental Advisory Warning,” and being pretty amused/repulsed.)

I took enrollments for summer classes, and ending up begging teachers to teach more classes.

I was cleaning up beside my bed, taking the empty Diet Coke cans away, when I noticed that there was orange juice in one of them. I tried really hard to remember when I might have done that and if it would be okay to put it back in the refrigerator and drink it later. I decided that was not a good idea. I had three spray bottles, and I mixed up the liquids for some reason. This comes up later.

He (for the sake of mystery, I’m not saying who) came back. He said that he got an email from T and was inspired to tell his side of the story. I had no idea what he was talking about, other than vague ideas. He took a spray bottle of a liquid and started misting my walls; it was a red liquid he didn’t expect, he thought it would be plain water. I told him it was Cherry 409. When he sprayed the walls, they would become mostly pink with pale lavender boxes, rectangles, and circles. He didn’t really talk much, but he did discover a way into the attic from my old bedroom. He spent most of his time doing that. I replaced the batteries in the flashlight for him as he climbed into my ceiling. I could see a bunch of lightswitches and things and I urged him not to do anything that would make everyone else know he was here. After digging through boxes of things, discovering all sorts of toys and collectibles of mine from elementary school, he stared at me. Then he just smirked, climbed down, and proceeded to ask me to whisper something to him. Well, it was all an elaborate scheme to get me to kiss him by the electrical outlet under the window (where my Sesame Street Nightlight was placed when I was a wee baba). I instantly wondered about what I would tell Matt: then I figured that my visitor would be gone soon and nothing would really come of it. He left a business card, which just had his name on it and no contact information, which didn’t help me at all since I already knew that. He told me he didn’t want me to know his email address because he liked to remain elusive. Then he disappeared into the ceiling. Caryn was in the room and she said, “Well, he said you two were back together.” I looked at her and said, “He never said we were together before, and I doubt he did it this time either.” She agreed and said that he didn’t tell her anything. I said, “I bet he didn’t even say he was back because it would have taken admitting he was gone before, and he wants to pretend that he never knew me. He likes to waltz in and out of my life.” I asked Caryn if we could do some investigating, and she said that we had eight free passes to the FBI database at monster.com. I didn’t think it was worth using up one of those. Later, I was in a car with him and I chastized him for not being very hospitable, then he let me lean against him. We were on the left side of the car in a backseat (there was another guy on the right side of me). I don’t know who was driving, but it was rainy and dark. (Two potentially psychic moments: an interpretation. I ended up watching part of American Psycho (the business cards) and my roof leaked when a rainstorm came through (the attic/spray bottles). So there’s some interpretation for you…)

There was a large, black, mean dog on my bed who kept trying to bite off my fingers. He thought it was a game and I couldn’t convince him that he was really hurting me.

Mom and I went to a bar (I think I must be having all these “Mom and I in a bar” dreams since we’re on the same medication right now) that was having a concert on the patio. There were barricades blocking the pation on three sides; the tour buses (which looked like subway cars with graffiti on the outside of their silver shells) made the fourth. One of the barricades was from Los Angeles, although I have no idea how I knew that. It said it was from the Hilldale Stadium. I wanted to steal it for Kathleen, but I didn’t because I’m a good girl, even in my dreams. I went on the tour bus and it became a school bus. I couldn’t find anyone who would share a seat with me, so I threw a temper tantrum and sat by the girl who smelled like urine (whose name was Julie in real life, and she didn’t smell like urine in real life. She was an outcast though. She’s dead now; I can’t remember or I never knew what she died of. Two days after this dream, I told Jake what my new medication was, and he had a friend named Julie who killed herself by overdosing on what I’m on. Great…).

I was in a library with my father, one he said “used to be the best.” However, they had cancelled all their subscriptions to academic journals and had instead only gotten issues of Playboy and Penthouse. They also had comic books, including one of Disney’s Three Orphan Kittens. They also had an irridescent yellow marble track that kept getting clogged with marbles of different sizes. It was above the bookshelves.

In a nap I took yesterday, I just remember there being something about the sound of breaking glass.

Francine was registered in Who’s Who in American Poets, but I was more confused than proud. Who filled out the paperwork for her? How did they determine her birthday?

I was in a hotel room changing my clothes.

Mom and I were in a mall and we asked when the bar opened, not to drink, but just to sit down.

I had a terrible fight with this girl. We were in high school, in the wing with the pool, and each student had his/her own lane in which to swim and sleep. She slapped me, and I told her “I’m a half-lesbian,” and I kissed her very violently, not out of passion, but to hurt her. “Of course, I could just be acting. You know I feel absolutely nothing for you.” Then she fell out of a window, and I wondered if people would blame it on me.

I was driving north down Rock, and all these tuxedo-wearing teenagers ran across Rock from Olive Garden to Atomic Burrito to have a fight. I was in a car with Carol H. and Carolyn K.; beside us was a red convertible filled with at least eleven girls. There were three in the trunk, four in the back seat, and four in the front, give or take a few. Barb walked by the fence, and I could hear her mom saying, “She’s enjoying being in control of her men.”

Matt came over to my apartment and told me that my trash “smells like ass.” So I had him give me a ride to the trash dumpster. Three Arabic guys (one looked like the manager at IHOP and another looked like an Arabic version of Michael Ironside, the drill sergeant from Starship Troopers) broke into my apartment while I was throwing away trash. I didn’t lock the door behind me, but I still felt incredibly violated. I could see one of them serving as a look-out while the others tore up the room. They weren’t there to steal from me, just to find some certain mysterious item.

At the playground in my old neighborhood, I found a flower arrangement (red roses and baby’s breath) sitting in a swing. A boy with a larger floral arrangement walked up and asked me if I’d give him mine. I said no and pointed out that he already had some flowers. I took them home and gave them to Mom. Mom told me to be nice to that boy because “he doesn’t have nice clothes or furniture.” While we were putting fresh water in the vase, we found a tag that changed every time I read it. The main message was “If you donate $100 to us, then [unknown]. If you deposit $100 you get [unknown] free. Write your address and pass it on.” There were about four other addresses from homes in the neighborhood.

Johnny Depp had released an album in his pre-21 Jump Street days, covering songs like “Oh, Girl” and “Party Goin’ On Tonight.”

I was leaving for a trip, but I didn’t pack any music. I wasn’t going to be able to listen to anything.

I took a workshop on something, perhaps writing, but I had a terrible time keeping up and finding my books. Somehow, my papers and books kept ending up on the teacher’s desk, so I’d have to walk up and get them. I was in a room that I used to teach in, so I was familiar with it and hard a somewhat hard time being a student again. After the workshop was over, I patted the table and thought about how I used to sit on the desk while I taught (I don’t think I really did in real life, but it wouldn’t surprise me). I went out into the hallway and saw Zach; he didn’t see me. Jon and Priya were there and we decided to go to lunch; we’d have sub sandwiches. On the way there, we walked past Bam from Jackass. I looked at Jon and he winked, so we both were in the know. “Who would have thought he’d be on a college campus?” I asked. Priya then demanded who I was talking about, but I didn’t say anything else. I knew Jon knew. We got to the sandwich line and I almost lost Priya and Jon. I finally did lose them, although I didn’t really mean to do that.

I went back to sleep after the alarm went off for the first time thinking, “Oh, how nice. The alarm clock drew a grid for us to run in.”

I can’t remember any other dreams. I’ve been put on a new medicine that I haven’t adjusted to yet.